We were talking to our kids recently about staying in touch with friends. Nothing heavy. Just one of those parenting moments where you’re trying to plant a seed.

A family friend had sent my oldest son a message. Just a casual check-in. And it got us thinking about how long we’ve known her and her mom.

We’ve been in Shanghai for about nine years now. And this family? We’ve known them almost that whole time.

The mom is one of my closest friends. Her daughter is the closest thing to a cousin my kids have here in Shanghai. We’ve seen her grow up. She’s seen ours.

We’ve celebrated Thanksgivings together. Christmases. Birthdays. The kind of gatherings you usually only have with family.

We wanted our kids to understand: not every friendship lasts this long. Especially in expat life, where people come and go all the time.

So we told them.

We explained that we’ve known this friend since before they can remember. That she’s one of the only friends who’s seen them grow up from the beginning. That those kinds of connections are rare and worth holding onto.

We told them that even though we’re not at the same school anymore, we still make time for each other. Birthdays. Holidays. Just showing up.

And one day, we’ll have to leave. Or maybe they’ll leave before us. That’s just how it goes.

But for now, we have this. A friendship that’s lasted almost a decade. A friend who feels like family.

Here’s the thing, though: my son was fine.

He wasn’t sad. He wasn’t worried. He was just… listening. Nodding. Taking it in.

It was me and my husband who felt the weight of it. We’re the ones who know how rare this is. We’re the ones who’ve watched so many friends come and go over the years.

But our kids? They just live their lives. They don’t overthink it the way we do.

And maybe that’s a good thing.

So we’ll keep reminding them. Keep showing up for birthdays. Keep making time for the people who matter.

Because one day, they’ll understand why we tried so hard to teach them this.

Or maybe they already do.

(And yes, I’d love to include a picture of them all together now. But… preteens. You know how it is.)

Do you have a friend who’s become family abroad? I’d love to hear about them in the comments.